Don't You Hate It When...

Don't you hate it when...

1. You're lying in bed and you need to take a piss. But you don't want to get up because you're too comfortable so instead you just piss yourself and it's all warm and nice at first but then it starts to feel cold, damp, and uncomfortable hold it in. Yeah, I hate that.

it in. Yeah, I hate that.

2. People add an 's' to the end of a word that's already plural without the 's'. They are the Orlando Magic, not the Orlando MagicS. I can't wait for Dwyane Wade to lead the Miami Heat (Heat with a 't', not a 'ts') and my fantasy basketball team to numerous victories.

3. You are talking on the phone and refer to the other person as "Sir" only to hear a response like "I'm a woman". I guess I don't hate this so much as I find it very awkward. Less awkward for me, but more awkward for him... or her?

Seriously though?

4. You're at the gym and some guy on the bench has 5 sets of dumbbells next to him. So you ask him if he's using the 40-lb ones, and he says yes. How about those 35s? And he says yes. Awesome, I hope you drop that 55-pounder on that douche-bag face of yours, you asshole.

5. You hit that PERFECT drive on that long Par 5! Then you realize that you're playing Tiger Woods 10 on XBOX360.

What can I say? Life is never perfect. You gotta roll with the fact that you will never be as good as virtual Tiger Woods (or the real Tiger Woods for that matter). There are assholes everywhere (Even at the gym! Could you believe that?!?). Not all women sound like women. Some people forget simple grammar. And taking a piss isn't always as easy as it sounds.

At least the rest of the game of life isn't so bad, right? Riiiiiiight.